"That night he arose and took his eleven children and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else he had. And Jacob was left alone."
Did you read what I read? Eleven children...coincidence, never!
The past few days have been full of sorrow.
My heart longs to hold my eleven children in Africa. I miss their laughs...their smiles. I miss their daddy. His strength...his passion.
Honestly, I wanted to go back to "Egypt." To throw this whole walk by faith thing to the roadside. In my grief I was willing to give up my life just to be together as a family again, even if for a season.
Then the Lord met me.
Jacob was on a journey with his family. Eleven children, not ten or nine, eleven children.
And I knew it was for me.
He then sent them across the stream and met the Lord alone near Jabbok.
Jabbok; a place of passing over.
And there Jacob wrestled with God.
"Beloved, this must ever be a typical scene in every transformed life. There comes a crisis hour to each of us, if God has called us to the highest and best; when all recourses fail; when we face either ruin or something higher than we ever dreamed; when we must have infinite help from God and yet, ere we can have it, we must let something go; we must surrender completely; we must cease from our wisdom, strength, and righteousness, and become crucified with Christ and alive in Him." Streams in the Desert
And so here I stand. On the other side of Jabbok. Having wrestled. Wondering if God has a new name for me.
Either way, I saw God face to face this morning. Today was my Penial.
P.S. This song has ministered to me in my sorrow.