Saturday, May 29, 2010

Adoption-choosing to continue in the Spirit.

Adoption is a calling that is wrought in the Spirit. And one that must continue in the Spirit.

How foolish it is, says Galatians chapter 3, that having begun in the Spirit we think we can accomplish anything in the flesh.

I believe this is something that we as adoptive families must be on guard against.

First and foremost it was the Spirit of God within us that burdened our hearts to begin the adoption journey. It was through the Spirit that we trusted God to provide thousands upon thousands of dollars to pay for the adoption. It was through the Spirit that we endured the mounds of paperwork and nerve wracking home studies. And it was through the Spirit that we prayed for the miraculous--approvals, court dates, homecomings, etc.

But, being that the Spirit and the flesh are at war. You must be on your guard.

We start to notice "behavioral issues" that we hadn't before. The love that we thought for sure would come, just doesn't seem to be there. We begin to think that maybe, just maybe, our child needs more than what we can give them (although the Spirit of God speaks contrary to such a lie).

Ladies, mama's, families. Remember how it all began-in the Spirit. The Word says that the "Spirit helps us in ALL our weaknesses." Please, please do not give up and try to accomplish this work in the flesh, it will end in "death" according to Romans 8.

Death of joy, death of hope, death of attachment, death of something beautiful that the Spirit started.

Some of you may say, "but what does she know of my struggles? This child I brought home is nothing like I expected. I was not cut out for this." I do understand, and the Lord has comforted me in my "troubles" so that I might comfort those of you who are going through similar trials
(2 Corinthians 1:4-6)."

Although quite unexpected in adoption circles, our most challenging son did not come to us as an older child. He never experienced abuse or trauma. Quite the contrary. He had been brought home at just 5 months old. Up to that point, he had received the best of care at one of the countries best orphanages.

Today, four years later, he struggles with behaviors that I read about in what people call "adoption disruption." I will not go into detail We have good days, but most are difficult. We continually pray over this child, speak God's Word into his soul and lead him to the path of righteousness. I know that "experts" say that the younger you adopt a child the less worry you have concerning "behavioral issues." In our case, this is far from the truth.

But, I know that I know that the Spirit of God burdened us to adopt this precious soul. And it is the Spirit who will continue to help us parent him.

"The Spirit who raised Christ from the dead is the same Spirit that works mightily in you." Philippians


Shonni said...

Ohhhh, this is awesome!!!! I am linking it now on my blog.

Sean and Lisa said...

Excellent reminder! Thank you!

Are These Kids All Yours? said...


The Young Family said...

Such truth and such a beautiful post. One I need to print off and tuck away.

Jen said...

Oh, this is SO true! Thank you for the encouraging post. This call to adoption is NOT something we can do on our own or in our flesh. It is totally and completely in faith - because we believe God is good, God is Sovereign, and God is faithful - that we are able to continue on when the going gets tough.

Amen and amen and amen!

*Given Much Mom* said...

Beautifully written. Thank you.

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

Very well said!

I, too, am grieved by the many adoption disruptions that are brought on by unexpected behavior from the child. However, at the same time, I believe that there are situations where a disruption is best for the child and for the family. There are situations where it is completely unsafe to keep the adopted child in the home.

Just my 2 cents. I hate to see adoptive families "giving up" during hard times. Yet, I also hate to see adoptive families completely torn apart (and other children's lives severely traumatized) when families are encouraged to "love them unconditionally" ... when, sometimes love is not enough.

Wishing there were more resources for hurting families. Knowing that the GREATEST resource is the Holy Spirit. Yet, also knowing that hurting families sometimes needs human help and support, as well.

Good thoughts! Thanks for sharing!