Thursday, July 1, 2010

How can the flesh conquer the flesh?





I would like to share an email I got from a neat blog friend {I have her permission}.  The email, as well as my response, speak for themselves. To God be ALL the glory.
"When you began writing about psychology and psychiatry I was interested AND nervous...you see, I had received a referral for *** (4 yrs. old, adopted from **** at age 21 mos) to see a child psychiatrist...I have been praying and praying about whether or not to cancel altogether after reading your stuff and asked God to give me discernment..You see, I don't believe that this lady can heal ***. I know God is the true healer, but just like doctors have some abilities to help heal, I believe that there are people who have counseling abilities who can give us tools to help us. That is what I am looking for..tools for me and tools for ***
The reason for the referral is "eating disorder". *** is obsessed with food. OBSESSED. We have had seasons since his adoption where it wasn't as intense but whenever there is stress in his life...he goes overboard.  *** was eating food behind my back, hiding the evidence and then I discovered that he was also eating NON food things and it broke my heart..I have done EVERYTHING I know to do to help him not see food as love...to see it as fuel for his body. Everytime he asks for more and I say no, he is putting up another brick in the wall of his heart b/c he sees me as withholding LOVE from him and everytime he pushes me away, I put another brick in my wall to keep him from hurting me or rejecting me any more...so it was also an attachment problem.  I have read all the books. I just didn't know what to do.  I tried the social worker's advice, literally letting HIM be in control and eating whenever he wanted. He ate until he threw up.
Perhaps I gave up too soon...I am only looking for tools..and then...this week...his therapist gave me a referral to some big wig an hour away. This person has studied under all the big names in attachment therapy..nancy thomas, gregory keck, deborah gray...and ask I read her resume I began to feel like, wow, maybe this will help...and then I read about her methods and how she also proudly studied under some Indian Shaman and my stomach just fell....they use hypnosis, meditation, yoga and "spiritual guidance" as part of their methods. Um. NO THANKS! I don't think I want that kind of spiritual guidance!!
I just don't know what to do. I do believe God will show me the way, I just wanted you to know. I so badly want my son to learn to trust us, but more, to trust God and his provision."
What the Lord spoke to me for this friend and her son {it was amazing how the Spirit took over as I was writing this email:
First and foremost, I want you to know how humbly blessed I am that have shared your heart with me.  I can not imagine "fighting this battle" alone {the Lord stands with you}.  I am going to being to pray for you first, that the Lord will fill you with "ALL wisdom and understanding."

As for your son, he is in bondage to food, God calls it gluttony.  Your son's god is his stomach--God calls that idolatry.  What he needs is freedom--freedom through Christ.  Psychology, man's wisdom, a workbook, etc. will never break the chains that are binding your son. His flesh {sin} is his current master. This morning, after a sweet, sweet time with the Lord, I was ministered to by these all important words of Andrew Murray--and now I know they were for YOU.  He said,
"people have tried in the power of the flesh to conquer the flesh-a wholly impossible thing.  They have endeavored by Beelzabub to cast our Beelzabub-and this will never happen.  It is JESUS ALONE who will subdue the flesh and the devil." By you taking your son to a child psychologist, you are attempting to conquer his flesh {sin} with sinful practices.  This is satan's delight because he knows, as Andrew Murray said, "this {the conquering of the flesh} through fleshly means is wholly impossible.  And your son will continue to be held in the clutches of the evil one. I will say it again and again, satan is NO respecter of age--he will torment even the youngest of children.  It makes me angry, it makes me want to fight.  And fighting is what we need to do, but we MUST do it on our KNEES!  In prayer, fasting and speaking the Word into our children's minds--until it becomes their delight!
Mama, you are the only one who can "stand in the gap" for *** {not a psychologist}.
Lay down the "law" with your son.  Let him know what you expect of him.  And if he chooses not to obey, he is rebelling against your authority and will need discipline.  A verse we have posted in our house is, "the good you know you ought to do and you don't, it's sin {James 4:17}."  If your son knows the good he is supposed to do, and he chooses his own way {following after his flesh} then he has sinned.

Mama, please know that I am praying for you.  This is a spiritual battle.  *** needs the freedom that only Jesus Christ can provide.  He is the only one who can "set the captives free." Get on your knees and wage war my friend.  
Stand in the gap and fight for your sons soul.  Fight for his freedom. Fight for the  chains of bondage to be loosed.  God could miraculously do this over night, or it may take years of battle, but do not loose heart!  Like I mentioned in my blog post, I walked around in the chains of bondage for years--and it was not until the Lord revealed my sin that I found true and lasting freedom.  May the Lord open *** heart and mind at a young age, to see and understand his sin and give his life to the One who died in his stead so that he will no longer have to live in chains."
Before sending this response {which is not in its entirety}, I asked the Lord to speak wisdom and knowledge into this mama, for the sake of her son.  This is the response I got,
"I cancelled the remaining appointments. I feel at peace but there will be great opposition from extended family members. (sigh) Thanking Jesus for the full armor of God.  Weary but not powerless, struck down but not destroyed!"




9 comments:

Mama in Uganda said...

Susan A,

I am sure my friend will read the comments. Thanks for your insight.

Yes, I know that this mama loves her son and wants the best for him. She affirms her love to him through discipline and affection {the two must go hand in hand}.

I believe it is very important to teach our children the devastating effects of sin {"the wages of sin is death} at a young age. Often times, instilling a healthy fear of God and fear of rebelliousness is left out of parenting, which places the child in grave danger.

Although we will always battle the flesh, victory is ours in Christ. Sin does NOT have to have master over us. It is a daily choice to dwell on the things of the Lord {His truth and His righteousness}.

I also find it to be of great importance to PRAY with our little ones--"without ceasing." Throughout the day, in all circumstances.

Thanks again Susan. Blessings

Mama in Uganda said...

Oops, I wanted to add. I mention the "law" as Gods Word says that the law was important--showing us our sin and need for a Savior.

Read Romans!!!

BB said...

Thanks for writing that. I am going to keep this wisdom/advice so I can remind myself of this when it comes along. I love that all the resources we need are from God! Praying for that mom, you are doing the right thing!!

"Are These Kids All Yours?" said...

Love this post!!! Thank you!

Mama in Uganda said...

Susan A,

I would love to know more about you :-) Feel free to email me some time!

Mama in Uganda said...

Susan A,

Thanks for your questions.

The most important thing we must do is look to Jesus and the Word of God for our example! How does Jesus discipline us, His children, and what does the Word have to say about discipline?

"The rod and reproof bring wisdom." Proverbs 29:15

The ROD and REPROOF. The rod shows the child that sin is harmful and the reproof teaches them how they have rebelled against God's standard--it seems, from this verse in Proverbs, that both are a necessary part of discipline.

The entire book of Proverb has beautiful pieces of wisdom, that when woven together, form a tapestry of how parents are to train and discipline their children.

I do not believe that your brother has scripture to back up his "philosophy" of not sharing God's word at the same time as using the rod. I would be curious to know. Maybe he learned this in a "counseling" course?

Going back to the book of Proverbs, we read over and over again about teaching our children to fear God--"to fear God is the beginning of wisdom." And to "hate evil."

I encourage you to do a study of the first five or six chapters of Proverbs.

Blessings as you study God's word--not just a hearer of the Word but a doer too.

Summer

Mama in Uganda said...

It is interesting to note that the Bible does condemn sinful behavior.

Mama in Uganda said...

Oops, I am a distracted mama with 12 little one asking me 100 questions.

Please know I was not speaking ill against your brother--I am just curious what scriptures he uses to build his philosophy of discipline. If this is what he finds useful to discipline/train his children, that is between he and the Lord.

junglemama said...

Nice to meet you. Thanks for leaving comments on my blog. Blessings. I look forward to reading more.